Come in, come in, for Charaku san
Please
Come on in
How many rakugo comedians can you name?
Probably just the 3 or 4 you've seen on TV
Welcome
In Tokyo alone there are 450,
a total of 600 including Osaka
That's how many comedians there are today
But with only 4 theaters in Tokyo,
work is hard to come by
Kosanmon
But there's still an endless stream of fools
who dream of entertaining with their wits and a single fan
Puzzling Puzzle
Maestro
Can't you rehearse me?
I'd like to perform "Cat Dish"
"You may say cats here and cats there, but..."
Stop singing that
I was 18 when I apprenticed here with Maestro Kosanmon
He named me Mitsuba
My stage name is Konjakutei Mitsuba
I'm determined to perform only the classics like,
"Kuma san," "Yotaro," "The Retiree," "The Young Master,"
even "Glue Granny." The old favorites inspired me to choose this life
"I can't possibly forgive you
"So what you're saying is that I'm here begging
"but you won't forgive me?
"Give it a rest
"So that's how it is
"Here I am down on my hands and knees but you refuse to forgive me
"How dare you, nitwit!
"How dare you call me a nitwit! I'm a samurai
"You're still a nitwit"
I trained in opening acts for 4 years
By 22, I was performing in 2nd acts, more or less a professional
Ten years later, you're a headliner, less if you're talented
If you're not, younger guys be? At you to it
Your performance lacked some voltage,
like a light bulb, flickering out
Time to change the light bulb, try some fresh routines
Besides, you're so stiff
Stiffer than a corpse
Try out some contemporary routines
No way
You don't even look good in a kimono
A man sticking to the classics when his kimono doesn't fit...
You're a joke, a laughing-stock
Ouch
What? Now you've cost me my 2 front teeth
Maestro, won't you rehearse me?
I want to do "The Amateur Eel"
What's the point in fattening your repertoire?
I want a real zinger of a routine
You're not inventive enough
There's no point in repeating my best routines, you idiot
All the characters in my routines...
Are my inventions
Listening to your routines is like
listening to a third-rate knock-off of myself
I'm no good?
The audience decides if you're good or a hack
Nobody listens to your routines
You can talk as much as you want, but if they don't care,
why bother?
Of course I want them to care
You just don't get it, do you?
How long will it take?
If you just want to talk, talk to the walls
TALK, TALK, TALK
Nice to see you, how're things?
Got a long way to go
You've always had a long way to go
Morning
You're my senior, I hate to ask you to carry his bags...
Look how swollen your face is
Stay in bed
It's not easy for adults to get over the mumps
You won't be able to have kids
Should I pack some ice down here, too?
"Ice it down it shrinks, heat it up it grows"
A morning bath? Very nice
- You look well - Thanks
Where are you headed?
"Culture"
A class about rakugo
What's that?
I'm a guest teacher
I bet you think,
comedians come out of the womb mouth first,
so talking comes easy
Well, you're wrong
I know a comedian who can't speak a word off the stage
No really, I mean it
For instance, on the phone, he doesn't say a word
"Hello, is this the home of Maestro Kosanraku?
"This is Maestro Kosanraku?"
Why bother answering if he's not going to talk?
Besides, there's not a soul that believes
a word that comes out of our mouths
"You're just saying that to spice up your story..."
But once in a while we do mean what we say
Why don't you take me seriously?
That's not right, I'm being serious here
But some of us throw punches instead of talking
A comedian called Kashiwaya Chimaki, got hit by a sake carafe,
lost his 2 front teeth
The man that hit him...
Is standing in the back, by the bookcase
There's no telling what he'll do if he gets pissed off, so keep your distance
At least he won't bite you
So, what am I here to teach?
Right, "Contemporary storytelling?"
But "Contemporary" isn't right What's contemporary about my face?
Do you mind?
A couple minutes
What didn't you like about what he said?
Why leave? You've paid a lot for the class
Was it boring? What was boring?
You'd look good with whiskers
Right here, 3 long ones Just like a black cat
Excuse me
I'm Konjakutei Mitsuba, a comedian
I'm apprenticed to Kosanmon, that teacher
His heart isn't in it He's just moving his lips
He's ridiculing us
That's just Maestro's style He'd talk like that to a king
You're free to walk out in the middle of a story, but it's rude
Are you listening?
Have you ever seen rakugo?
Not on TV, but live
You should see Maestro live one day He's the real deal
Why don't you invite me to see you?
Would you come?
No
10AM next Sunday, Toyo Theater in Asakusa
Four of us will perform
That's enough
Use your wrist
Toyama
Thank you
Hello
Excuse me
All you do is wander around
I'm so busy my butt's on fire
I'd like to just relax, once a while
Hello
Are you starting your lesson now?
We're all finished She has a favor to ask
A favor?
Can you teach rakugo?
You want to learn rakugo?
No, my nephew
He just moved here from Osaka and he's having a hard time at school
My sister calls me every day,
saying they ridicule his Osaka accent
They shouldn't do that
I told my sister about you
She said he should learn a rakugo story and become popular
I'm not so sure a rakugo routine will make him popular
Won't you teach him?
Maybe how to be witty
I can't, I'm just a second act, not a headliner
I'm in no position to teach anyone
Of course not, you can't teach anyone how to talk
Only a truly sensitive person can teach that
I know you're really busy
No, I'm not
Don't boast about it
Once a week...
Once a month is fine
Please
Well, but...
"Backstage, the drums roll in anticipation...
"but Sadakichi, the frog, doesn't appear
"Hey, where's Sadakichi?
"I told him how important the frog is in this scene
"Hey, frog, it's your cue
"A witty customer steps up
"The frog can't show up. See Hachiko's dick, sticking out of his crotch?"
My time is up
Mitsuba
Hey, check out the beauty in the crowd
Wow, even her bones are beautiful
Excuse me
"A man named Jibuta Jibuemon was terribly absent-minded..."
He totally blew his opening line
"How honorable to meet you
"On this honorable day, I am an honorable messenger
"I am the honorable Nakada Tomedayu
"Hey, you're not the honorable one
"Oh, yes, not honorable..."
He's hopeless
"It's time you remembered
"Hey, you devilish kid
"I remember, I remember now
"Sandayu slides the door open
"So, what was his message?
"Oh, I forgot to ask"
Hey
You were tense
I was so shocked you came, I totally blew it
I loved seeing you stumble
I'll do better next time
I didn't think you'd show
How can I tell stories?
To be a professional?
No
Why then?
I just...
want to talk better
Tokawa
Tokawa Satsuki
You're Tokawa? My real name's Toyama
We're practically twins
Are you angry?
No
Why do you look angry?
This is just my face
Osaka Tigers
Cut it out
Where shall we go?
Bye
Masaru
Are all of you serious about learning rakugo?
I get the feeling you don't really care
So, introductions. That's the practice you really want, not rakugo, right?
Remember, I only know rakugo
Hey, listen!
Tokawa
I'm bad... at conversation
Next
That's me?
- Like rakugo? - Beats me
- Want to learn? - No way
Then don't
You're so mean, Teacher
We show respect to comedians It's Maestro, not Teacher
I'm not a Maestro yet, so call me Mitsuba
Mitsuba
At least call me "san"
San
Together
"When young people get together they can't stop talking,
"providing plenty of material for comic storytelling
"Don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward
"Don't hold back, come forward, but too far forward will land you out back
"Yeah, find a good spot
"Of course you can tell me, spit it out What are you scared of?
"No, you'll laugh
"No, I won't, what scares you?
"Sweet buns
"Scared of sweet buns? That's a new one
"I'm so scared of this sweet bun
"Even the crust is so old it's scary
"Hey, move over
"Hey! He ate them all up He gobbled up all those
"sweet buns he said he was scared of
"Why did you eat all those scary sweet buns? What are you really scared of?
"About now, I'm scared of a cup of tea"
Oh, I'm sorry
That's OK, it's the punch line
I'd like you to learn that routine What do you say?
You sound like an idiot I can't believe you do that
Now it's your turn
No way I can't say all those Tokyo words
How do you learn it?
By listening
Isn't there a script?
Can't manage without it?
You?
My feet fell asleep
That's it for today
You don't have to come back
Do comedians always wear kimonos?
I do, most don't
You're strange Why do you like rakugo?
My grandpa used to love rakugo
Is that lady your mom or your grandma?
My grandmother, of course
Your mom?
Died of pneumonia when I was a baby Dad died of cancer a year later
What a shock
Why are you being bullied at school?
It's not bullying, it's fighting
I'm asking why Is it a secret?
No, you're too old It's between us kids
I see, I like that attitude
It's pouring
See you next week
I'd never heard your rakugo before
You look more comfortable in your kimono, now
You think? Really?
Masaru's more sensitive than he seems
Will you help him?
Yes
No way, this Osaka accent is all fake
If you don't like it, fix it
You're cutting corners
You know how many hours it took me to write that down? Plenty
Rakugo is all about memorization Read the first part
No, not in this fake Osaka accent
OK, Tokawa
"When young people get together they can't stop talking..."
Put some spirit into it
It's not a phone book
"When young people get together they can't stop talking,
"providing plenty of material for comic storytelling
"Don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward
"Don't hold back, come forward, but too far forward will land you out back
"Yeah, find a good spot"
That rolled right off your tongue Did you already know it?
How did you memorize it so fast?
I won't remember it long
A photographic memory
Give me a break
I'm praising you Keep going
Watch out, watch out!
He's diving in, diving!
Murabayashi!
Hello
What the heck do you want!
How can you wear that? Even a clown wouldn't
It's for a job as an M.C.
You're paying your dues, I understand
The hell you do
You have the whole set of "Slam Dunk" "If you give up, game's over!"
Keep watching this
Suit yourself
Who's he?
Your new student
I'm Yamada
Says he wants to observe
I heard you're training people
to improve their speech
What kind of rumors have you been spreading?
Can you take that off?
I have terrible allergies
We're inside now
You look like a mugger Makes me nervous
"He said he's scared of sweet buns Let's go buy lots of them,
"and go to his house, open the door, toss them in
"He's got no back door. Lock the front and there's no way out
"The sweet buns will chase him around..."
What's this, what's this? Is this "I'm Scared of Sweet Buns?"
He's Maestro Shijaku
It's the Osaka version
Can I borrow it? It's great
Your student?
This class is for babies
Hey, you're Yugawara
He's Yamada san
I'm Yamada
Don't you watch baseball? The pinch hitter, Yugawara
Filling in for Ito, the pitcher,
is pinch hitter, Yugawara
I think I'll quit rakugo
Really?
Still a second act at age 40...
Go, Yugawara!
Yugawara's batting average isn't great this season,
but he's giving left-handed pitchers a tough time...
I knew I'd seen you before
- Who is he? - The baseball player
Former baseball player
He's the former Yugawara!
Not former! I'm still Yugawara!
You haven't been doing baseball commentary recently
Commentary? So, you talk for a living
He's really lousy Never says a word
The announcer next to him looks desperate, talking for the both of them
You get fired?
Repeat that, fucking brat!
Don't raise the dust
If you're not serious, go home
You're in the way
All right
Not sexy
Your face chases men away
He said it...
You're good enough to take disciples?
They're not disciples
What are they?
If you've got the time to teach people,
rehearse your own routines
What are you thinking?
"A Horror Coffee Shop?
"Summer Special: A sweet ghost will serve you?
"Sounds good Let's check it out
"Hey, there's nobody here Oh, well, I'll sit here
"Here's the menu...
"Excuse me, I'd like a cup of coffee
"Welcome home, Master
"My God, what a shock!
"Don't sneak up on me like that
"You hardly look the part in that waitress uniform"
I hear you're teaching rakugo to a pretty girl
Also to a brat and a middle-aged guy
Your maestro will chew you out, frittering your time away like that
Does your maestro chew you out?
Every time I see him
But that's water off a duck's back
He says I don't have a clue
Quit teaching rakugo
Once you start something, you can't just quit
"He's got no back door. Lock the front and there's no way out
"The sweet buns will chase him around..."
That's not rakugo Make the audience laugh, not yourself
"Oh, no, scramble..."
You do it then!
That's right Take another stitch
Ouch
You're so clumsy
I'm home
What's this?
Sewing a summer kimono She can't do it alone
Why a summer kimono?
She's going to wear it, to the Lantern Plant Festival
With a guy?
No
If it's with a girlfriend, invite me I'll treat you to sweets
I haven't decided, who with...
Go with me
I happen to have a job nearby
It's perfect, then
Buy her a lantern plant
Sure, I will
See you later
What's the rush? Keeping a girl waiting?
Wow
What?
On you, you can't see the bad stitching
You wear it well
No Luck
The future looks grim
Give it another try?
Thank you for joining our Lantern Plant Festival today
Pick one out
No thanks
Why not?
Have to carry it home
I'll carry it for you
Welcome, Mister This one's nice
Here you are
I don't want it
Why bother getting all dressed up?
Don't fight, now
I'm not fighting
Tokawa
Ouch! Don't!
Don't you want the plant?
I don't
I'm hungry
Let's get some soba noodles
Here you are
I've been here before
When?
Last year
"Next year, dress for the festival"
Who said that?
You dummy, you should've invited him
He ditched me long ago
He was a jerk
He never said anything nice
Saying mean things, to push people away
He sounds like you
It didn't matter who
I didn't want to come alone, but I wanted to come
Eat your noodles
Don't sit there remembering
Go ahead, eat up
Eat mine, then
Who cares about noodles?
You've never been in love, have you?
I like someone
My grandmother's disciple, a little older than you
Tell me how to ask her out
But I enjoyed the festival with you I like having it both ways
Tokawa Dry Cleaning
Welcome
He took the walk on that one
Did he take the walk or was he afraid to swing, Yugawara san?
Let's see, well, in this case, the batter....
Probably feels like....
When he steps up to the plate, he's not quite sure...
So, the pitcher Ishii throws the first ball to Nakamura...
Yugawara san, was that....
In this case, the coach, probably gave a...
This commentator's irritating
Say
What is this? Did someone forget it?
Oh, a lantern plant
Great Luck
There's no ice
We used it all to chill noodles for lunch
Maybe I'll go buy something cold
You're the one who said students aren't guests, so don't bother with them
So nervous
Who is?
Hello
Hey
I can't believe you made it here in this heat
No air conditioning here
The fan's plenty
That's why you're shriveling up
What did you say?
Shut up, kid!
Leave him be
"What scares you?
"Sweet buns
"Sweet buns"
Hey, what's up?
The "Symphony" lady had an accident, right?
You should rat her out She was driving drunk
She can hardly drive sober Doesn't deserve a license
Yugawara san
I'll call you back later
Are you serious about this?
That's why every team you joined threw you out
The Yakult, The Daiei, The Tigers...
You a Tigers fan?
Not just because I lived in Osaka It's not that simple
It was ridiculous, the crowds don't shut up, the management's stupid
Why don't you say that in your commentary?
Comment on it
Say stuff like, "Ridiculous,'" "Don't shut up" and "Stupid"
Sound authoritative
You won that round
You're studying
Ikuko san Aren't you on summer vacation?
I have to submit a paper soon for our research group
Which writer, this time?
Tsuruya Nanboku You know all about Kabuki, right?
They're performing Yotsuya Kaidan now
You should see it Those spooky ghost tales
Shall we go together?
Please, I swear I'll pay you back
I won't loan it Relatives never pay loans back
Balance
Please
Wow, gee, thanks
How is it?
Delicious
I'm a bad cook
You're a good cook, right?
At home, I'm the housekeeper
I've got to learn to cook better I'm getting married next year
Does this taste strange?
What do you mean, getting married?
I should've learned how to cook at home I'm marrying my professor
Oh, what a relief
I was wondering how to tell you
I have a work conflict with the Kabuki
I couldn't figure out how to tell you
Oh, thanks
Let me...
No, no, it's my gift I do make some money
May I?
Gee, thanks
"Regarding my background, my father was born in Kyoto,
"his family name was Ando, his first name, Keizo, nicknamed Goko
"When my mother was 33,
"one night she dreamed of a crane and conceived me
"When I departed her womb, she cried Tsurujo,
"but that was my infant name Later I was dubbed Chiyojo..."
Sweet buns, sweet buns are scary
Lunch boxes are scary, too
Lunch boxes are scary
What's up, Mitsuba?
You're not on tonight
Go in that way, or they'll charge you
Have you been to the new sushi shop in Shinonome?
Their sushi rolls are delicious
So I hear
It's hard to find a good sushi roll these days
Good evening, I'm sitting in the audience tonight to observe
What is it? You look pale
Excuse me
Something wrong?
No idea
Kosanmon
Thank you for attending tonight
Some of you may believe that
the Edo of old is just like modern Tokyo,
but that's not true
Edo was much smaller
You know, Mukojima, Over Island? It wasn't part of Edo
Like its name, Over Island, it was "Over there"
There weren't any department stores or supermarkets in Edo
You couldn't buy lots of different things in one place
You bought a kimono in a kimono store, used clothing in a used clothing store
There were clog shops, rice cake shops and so on
And secondhand stores did a brisk business,
selling second hand furniture
Any man who owned a secondhand store wasn't very bright
Most didn't care whether their goods sold or not
Inevitably, their wives took charge
"Say, dear, you're the worst salesman in the world
"Why?
"Why? I was just listening in the back
"A customer admired that dresser and what did you say?
"I know it's nice, it's been here for 8 years
"That's like admitting you couldn't sell that dresser for 8 long years
"Honesty is the best policy
"There's a limit to honesty
"You can't sell what's for sale, but you sell off what's not
"What do you mean?
"The futon shop owner came in and said,
"Jinbei san, that's a nice charcoal brazier, and you said,
"Oh, you think? Go ahead and take it, and sold it to him
"Yeah
"We used that brazier to heat the place
"We haven't had any heat since
"It's gotten cold recently so you went to the futon shop to warm up
"That's right, the futon shop owner said,
"I bought a brazier with Jinbei san thrown into the deal
"Say there
"Those two are constantly fighting It's not a pretty sight
"That's a really dirty drum
"That's not for you to say
"It's your job to dust things off around here
"Yes sir
"I know, I'll use the vibration to dust it off
"Boom...
"Boom, boom, boom,
"you see, boom, boom, boom, it works
"Stop that noise
"I didn't buy that for you to play with, just dust it off
"Yes, sir, I'll keep it soft
"Thump, thump, thump...
"Why do you always get carried away?"
Later
What are you doing?
I...
I love your rakugo
I just can't help it
You inspired me to become a comedian
I may never deserve to inherit your name, but I'll keep at it
What are you mumbling about?
What?
Idiot! Why'd you eat a rotten lunch?
It was our first and last lunch
What are you talking about?
Anyway, feel better. My annual performance is coming up
You can do 30 minutes Any routine you want
Anything I want?
Yeah, what'll you do?
The one you just performed
You mean, "The Flaming Drum?" Have I taught you that one?
Will you teach me?
Be well
I know, you should've eaten that lunch
You've had the mumps, you're immune
"Say dear...
"Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?
"Why?
"Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer...
"Why?
"Don't why me, why'd you let that customer get away?"
Your maestro's annual performance will be packed with his fans
Why perform his favorite routine there?
I just worked up the nerve Nerve can be scary
I wish he would teach me "The Flaming Drum"
I'm older, he should teach me first
You pulled a fast one
"How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?
"You don't know either? I don't really understand,
"but apparently the master has excellent taste
"Apparently, it's a Flaming Drum, the only one of its kind
"Don't just stand there gawking, come forward, come forward
"Don't hold back, come forward, come forward
"But too far forward will land you out back"
"Spit it out What are you scared of?
"You'll laugh
"No, I won't, what scares you?
"Sweet buns
"Sweet buns"
I'm better than him
"The rice shop owner came over and eyeing
"the brazier we use in back..."
Oh, what is it?
I'm sorry but he's busy
Is it for me?
Listen, I memorized the whole thing
I just kept talking and I made it all the way to the end. Amazing!
Calm down, what was that?
I memorized "Sweet Buns"
Wow, that's a long routine
Maybe I'm gifted
I can't wait to tell it to Mister Yugawara
Yugawara san? Not me?
I want to prove to him I'm serious
Yugawara san
I phoned and your wife gave me this address
My wife's brother owns it
Next week, we're getting together again
Murabayashi memorized a whole routine
He wants to perform for you
That brat?
Stop talking
He says he'll show you
Are you busy?
Have you been on TV?
He's so damned lousy
It's embarrassing listening to him
Can this batter hit this pitch?
I think his coach has signaled for a fastball
Can he really pull off another fastball, Sato san?
He can't hit it
- You can tell? - I can
How come?
His eyes
His eyes, he says...
Talk about the slider or his grip on the bat or something
Look at the pitcher, he's ready to kill
The batter's freaked out
What'll the pitcher throw?
He'll go for it
Low and out, Ball
He chickened out
That was a strike That umpire never calls low balls
I lost out on alot of his missed calls
The 6th pitch on a full count
Hey, it's a high ball.... Caught at 2nd, that's 3 outs
Idiot, he could've walked to First if he'd just stood there
"Idiot this and that" All you have is nerve
It's just like you You think every player's an idiot
Do you announce games that way?
Why should I badmouth players on TV?
I refuse to do that I don't even want to
Players may hate you, but if the fans love you, they'll call it style
What about you, comedian?
What'd you come here for?
Please come hear Murabayashi's routine
Clear my plate
That's all I'll drink up and go
I'm sorry
Oh, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, are you OK?
"What are you talking about? You let that customer get away
"He took one look at that dresser and fell in love
"He came in all smiles..."
"He came in all smiles and headed straight for you
"But what did you say when he admired that dresser?"
Listen, listen, listen!
What's up?
You're going to perform "Sweet Buns?"
I can't! I'm so upset I forgot the whole thing
I'm only here because you asked me
Forget about that! Miyata's a Giants fan, and a real jerk
He wants to make us all Giants fans
Who's Miyata?
It's Miyata! Miyata
Our class has a boss
He's Miyata?
He says he's a Giants fan but doesn't care and never goes to games
He hasn't stopped eating ice cream like me, to pray for my team
But shaved ice is OK?
Baseball lovers are such fools
All fans are fools Especially Tigers fans
Say that on the air, once
Miyata wants to get at me with baseball
We have a baseball game soon Miyata's the pitcher
He swore he'd prove I'm as weak as the Tigers are
So I've gotta say, "No way" right?
Can Miyata pitch?
Unbelievable reflexes
Fast balls?
Under 100 kms
Keep your eye on the ball, you can hit it
You're a pro I'm an amateur
You think I don't know how hard it is to hit a ball?
Why don't you teach him?
Pinch hitter, Yugawara
No way I can do that
Yes, you can
I've got total confidence in my batting skills
And I'm teaching you Swing
Hold up
Here, like this
If I win, I'll shut that Miyata up for good
That's the deal, right?
Then, I can stay a Tigers fan?
Hey, shut up
Swing again
Hey, wait up
Relax your shoulders, and keep your back straight
Your hips Lead with your hips,
and your arms will follow naturally
Always keep your eye on the ball
Right, hips!
See, you took your eye off the ball
Keep your eye on the ball Tuck your chin in
Swing your hips, rotate them You know
You said you didn't know a thing about baseball
All I know is Ichiro and Matsui
Thank you so much, Yugawara san Thank you
I'll make you look good
Don't get carried away
Don't run away You love the Tigers, right?
If you run from what you love, you'll always regret it
You memorized all of "Sweet Buns," right?
I memorized the Tokyo version, too
Really! Let's put on a show
You'll come, right, Yugawara san?
Keep your sights on Miyata
I'll totally whip his ass
Don't get so carried away
"Hey, Sada, don't just stand there. I buy all this merchandise
"Don't stand there, start dusting! Take this outside and dust it
"Don't, dust that drum off and it'll disappear
"You, shut up
"Hurry, take it outside and dust it off
"Yes sir
"Those two are fighting again They're always at it
"Oh, this is awfully dusty"
Hey
You got it wrong
Let's see
"Oh, thanks
"How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?
"It made a noise From now on, only noisy stuff
"That's right, noisy stuff I'll get a fire alarm and sound that
"Not a fire alarm, you'll scare the customers"
You're really hopeless
Thank you
Can I take a break from our class?
Are you busy?
I've got a performance
What performance?
A performance by our maestro and his 3 disciples
Come, as a plant in the audience
What about ours?
Our performance, when?
You really want one?
Listen, why do you come to my rakugo class?
Did you think I'd quit right away?
Yeah, well
Why do you teach? Do you really want to teach?
Why do you think we all show up?
We're not just killing time We all really want to change
Because things as they are, just aren't good enough
Can't you understand that?
No, I know
Keep practicing We'll have that performance
"But sir, there's no other way to get the dust off
"Dum de dum dum, dum dum....
"Excuse me..."
"Dum de dum dum, dum dum...
"Excuse me
"Hello, welcome"
I'm Masaru's mother
Is my son with you?
No, he's not
Where could he be??
He doesn't have cram school today and should be home by 5PM
You don't think he was kidnapped or in an accident
He wouldn't let that happen
How did the baseball turn out?
Baseball?
Didn't he tell you about the game?
Masaru's missing
Miyata beat him He totally struck out
Any luck?
He stopped by our place
He left this
Dear Yugawara san
Even though you coached me, I was no good, I struck out
I'm sorry I was such a bad student, but thank you
Murabayashi Masaru
Something's not right
Did you search the house?
He always walks in without asking
You found me
What are you doing?
I was sleeping Before that, reading manga
Before that, I heard this weird rakugo
It went "Dum de dum dum, dum dum..."
Ouch
You fool!
It was good you hit him
No it wasn't, he's a child
Better than consoling him. He's a proud kid, he's crying 'cause he means it
Let's end the class
End it and get it over with
You think?
I don't want to get it over with
What good will learning rakugo do?
Yeah, our teacher's a loser
I'm just not cut out for this
Why'd you start in the first place?
You're such an idiot
Who's the idiot learning from an idiot?
Learning rakugo won't change your personality. What do you want?
To be liked? To be considered a nice person?
I don't care if anyone likes me
You don't want anyone to like you Your attitude says you don't
It's the same with cats, we pet them because they purr
Who asked me to purr?
That's why you get dumped Don't badmouth your ex-boyfriend
You asked me
I did not, don't tell me
You'll never change You're a jerk, a stray
What about you?
You've had your say But what about you?
Whatever you say, nobody hates you
I wanted to be like that
Even though I can't
Hey, Tokawa
Tatsuya
What are you doing? Don't you have to get up?
Yeah, what time is it?
Noon, already
Hey there
Sorry, I overslept!
Welcome, please come in
Hey, is Mitsuba OK?
Another rotten lunch?
If he makes it through the routine you get 10,000 yen
I'm betting he won't
I bet he won't, either
Then there's no bet
We're grateful you've come to see us
This is our annual performance,
but how many years has it been?
Hey, how many years has it been?
Your face looks like a fava bean
Oh, right, the last time, you weren't my disciple yet
The Kosanmon line is no big deal
and just because it's annual doesn't mean we do it every year
"He's a cheap drunk anyway
"I better watch out not to spill
"Not yet, not yet...
"Oh, no, no!
"What a waste of sake
"No good getting the floor drunk"
Hey, Mitsuba
Excuse me
A little something for your stomach?
In that case,
a little of this?
Go ahead, drink up
You've already made a fool of yourself
Thank you very much for your applause
I live with my grandmother who never throws a thing away
Disposable chopsticks, packets of soy sauce, she saves everything
I told her, " They're worthless, toss them"
She says, " There's virtue in saving them"
Some people love collecting trash and junk
Poking around second-hand shops, looking for bargains
"Say dear...
"Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?
"Why?
"Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer get away?
"I didn't let him get away, he just went away
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him buy it
"What are you talking about? You let that customer get away
"He took one look at that dresser and fell in love
"He came in all smiles and made a beeline for that dresser
"But what did you say when he admired that dresser?
"I know it's nice, it's been here 16 years
"It's like telling him we couldn't sell that dresser for 16 years
"You can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not
"You know what I mean
"Last year, the rice shop owner came over
"Eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, What a nice brazier
"You said, If you like it, it's yours, and sold it
"We haven't had any heat since
"It's gotten so cold recently you go to the rice shop to warm up
"That's right, the rice shop owner said,
"I bought a brazier with Jinbei san thrown into the deal
"Don't, dust that drum off and it'll disappear
"You, shut up. Don't just stand there Take this outside and dust it
"Yes, sir
"Those two are fighting again They're always at it, I get sick of it
"Oh, this is awfully dusty
"I can't see through all the dust
"Mister, this drum is awful dirty
"Don't you chime in
"You're cleaning it because it's dirty Hurry up and dust it off
"Yes, sir
"He got mad at me
"Dum de dum dum
"Hey, I like the sound of this drum
"Dum dum dum,
"Dum de dum dum, dum dum...
"I didn't buy that to be your toy,
"just dust it
"I'm willing to purchase that drum for 300. Will you let it go for 300?
"Well, yes, the thing is...
"Wait, did you say something?
"What's the matter? I'm saying 300 ryo
"300 ryo, I see 300 ryo, meaning...
"What 300 ryo do you mean?
"Don't you get it? To spell it out, how about 300 ryo in coins?
"Oh, coins, you mean, coins shaped like this, that you buy things with?
"What other coins are there? What do you say?
"What do I say? 300 ryo! 300 ryo, 300 ryo...
"300 ryo, I'll take it
"Don't stick your hand out Give me a receipt
"I don't need a receipt
"No, I need it
"How did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?
"You don't know either? I don't really understand,
"but apparently the master has excellent taste
"Apparently, it's a Flaming Drum, the only one of its kind. Where'd you find it?
"Oh, so we made a profit?
"Really? OK, show me, then
"Hey, show me You must be lying, aren't you?
"If it's true, show me Hurry
"Hurry, you idiot!
"Hey, don't call me idiot! Fine, I'll line the 300 ryo up
"Don't pee your pants in astonishment
"Don't worry
"All right, don't be shocked Look, here's 50 ryo
"So, it's true, dear?
"Yeah, it's true Look, here's 100 ryo
"Oh my, 100 ryo
"I can't take it
"You don't have to take it, look, here's 150 ryo
"Oh my, 150 ryo, I'm feeling faint...
"One hundred-fifty ryo...
"Watch out, hold on to the pillar behind you
"The pillar behind me?
"Like this?
"That's good, look Here's 200 ryo
"My, you're such a good salesman
"What are you talking about? Look, here's 250 ryo
"I always say, antiques are best
"What are you talking about? Don't be shocked, here's 300 ryo
"My...
"Dear, I need a glass of water
"I drank some, too
"Hey, Sada, get her some water
"Are you OK?
"Oh, thank you
"Dear, how did you sell that filthy drum for 300 ryo?
"It made a noise From now on, only noisy stuff
"That's right, noisy stuff I'll get a fire alarm and sound that
"Not a fire alarm, you'll scare the customers"
Hey, you
Turns out you perform better drunk
What?
You figured out "The Flaming Drum" for yourself
Shouldn't have made that bet I lost 10,000 yen
"Fire a rusty pistol enough, you're bound to hit something
"Hit or miss is up to the wind..."
You were great, Mitsuba
Oh, thank you Thank you
"Didn't you know? When they whisper like that,
"maybe they're badmouthing me Ants are scary...
"Silly"
Hey, Murabayashi
You look suspicious They'll report you
You're not mad?
About what? Oh, this? I hit myself on the swings
I was on the swings after I struck out with Miyata
I jumped off to go home and the swing hit me in the head
That's what I told Mom
You shouldn't lie
If I told her the truth, she'd kill me on the spot
It was my fault I was immature
Can I come to rakugo class again?
Of course. The show, right?
The show... That's right, it was my idea
Why not perform for a crowd Invite your friends, even Miyata
You don't know him Miyata's really tough
In sports and in class, he always beats me
Let's make Miyata laugh
It's great to make people laugh The best way to pay back your enemy
I really love to talk
Doing rakugo, I get so happy...
Is "Pay back" a fight?
No, it's a contest
Miyata
Would you come to this?
What's this, "Scared of Sweet Buns?"
What is it?
You're gonna do it?
No way you can do it
Scared of Sweet Buns East-West Face Off
Thank you
Satsuki
This Way
I'm sure he'll lose
Yeah
I bet he'll screw it up
Thank you so much
Oh, no, I look ridiculous
I used to wear it, it's not so bad
But...
You like the routine?
I do
The whole routine?
I do
Then go make 'em laugh With your whole spirit
Show them what a great story you can tell
Is Tokawa really coming?
Of course, she's performing with you
Are you two fighting?
Why?
Your grandma asked me if you two had a fight
We didn't have a fight We just said what we felt
Bet you made her mad
That's why you're such a bad adult
When you get pissed off, count to 3 and calm down
Counting to 3 calms you down?
I can't calm down! Oh, no!
OK, break a leg
Oh, no
Hey
It's big, way too big
Too bad
It's yours?
Scared of Sweet Buns East-West Face Off
Moukotei Masaru
Hello, everyone I'll do my best to entertain you
When I practice at home, I get so into it, it's so funny,
I can hardly stand it!
When I perform for an audience,
I often realize I'm not as funny as I think
"What do you hate most?
"What do you hate most, tell me
"Centipedes
"Centipedes?
"I'm scared of centipedes It's got too many legs
"Of course it does
"I wonder what'll happen if it puts shoes on all of 'em
"Over-active imagination How about you?
"Spiders
"Spiders?
"Scared of spiders?
"Why?
"Why? Spiders are scary
"It comes sliding down from the ceiling,
"plops down on the floor, starts to head that way then scrambles over...
"Spiders are creepy And you?
"Ants
"Ants, meaning ants
"Ants
"Of ants?
"I am. You don't know how terrifying they are
"What's so scary?
"Didn't you know? When they whisper like that,
"maybe they're badmouthing me Ants are scary...
"Who'd believe ants are scary?
"He just said he's scared of sweet buns, so we'll go buy some,
"and go to his house, open the door, toss them in
"He's got no backdoor. Lock the front and there's no way out
"The sweet buns will chase him around...
"Watch him as they chase him around and around his house, no?"
Fool
"I just love watching people suffer
"What about you?
"Everybody go buy sweet buns
"They fell for it
"Those morons
"Buns from Takasagoya
"Buns from Tachibanaya
"It's nice to eat you again
"You've shrunk since I last saw you
"Hey, wait, wait up He's muttering, chattering in there
"Sounds like he's eating something, too
"Don't be ridiculous
"He's alone, who's he got to talk to in there?
"But he's muttering, chattering in there"
Miyata laughed! He's laughing
Miyata
I didn't think you'd come I was so happy
You're so un-cool
Isn't that why you laughed?
That was funny
Really great
You laughed, Miyata
Thanks so much for coming
What happens next?
Right, I hadn't finished
Did you call Tokawa?
No
Call her
She'll come
Where's Tokawa?
No...
She's not here? What'll we do?
Well...
"...gobbling all those scary sweet buns What are you really scared of?
"About now, I'm scared of a cup of tea"
You're late
I wound up cleaning the whole street
Go on in
Go on, hurry What are you doing?
It doesn't feel right
Why not?
Since our fight, I haven't...
So, you're still fighting That's your position
I don't know what my grandson said...
The truth, that's why I got so mad
"Once, a Japanese, a German,
"a Russian, an American and a Frenchman
"all wound up on the same boat
"Which country's..." What was it?
"Food tastes...
"Worst, is what... They..."
Tokawa baby!
You came
Shouldn't I have?
You wanted me to
At least say "Welcome"
Go
Tokawatei Satsuki
I'm not doing "Scared of Sweet Buns"
Why not?
I'm telling another story
It's my...
Favorite story
"Say dear! Why are you such a lousy salesman?
"Why?
"Don't why me... Why'd you let that customer get away?
"I didn't let him get away, he just went away
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him buy it"
What's it called?
"The Flaming Drum"
"He came in all smiles and made a beeline for that dresser
"But what did you say when he admired that dresser?
"I know it's nice, it's been here 16 years
"It's like telling him we couldn't sell that dresser for 16 years
"You're hopeless
"You can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not
"The rice shop owner came over
"and eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, What a nice brazier
"You said, If you like it, it's yours, and sold it
"We haven't had any heat since
"It's gotten so cold recently you go to the rice shop to warm up
"That's right, the rice shop owner said,
"I bought a brazier with Jinbei san thrown into the deal
"Oh, this is awfully dusty
"I can't see through all the dust
"Mister, this drum is awful dirty
"Don't you chime in
"You're cleaning it because it's dirty Hurry up and dust it off
"Yes, sir
"He got mad at me
"Dum de dum dum
"Hey, I like the sound of this drum
"Dum dum dum, Dum de dum dum, dum dum...
"I didn't buy that to be your toy,
"just dust it off"
Come again
You two are neighbors and we need to eat at Yugawara's place
I wasn't going to tell you, but I will
I'm going to coach next year The minors, though
That's perfect
The minors?
No, coaching
When will you hit the big time?
Someday
I'll reserve a place as a disciple
When you grow up, you'll realize your mistake
I had fun
Me, too
See you
Say...
This class made me love rakugo
I always loved it, but now I love it more
It made me want to improve
You've each got a hard road Hang in there
You, too, teacher
I'm going out
"You're hopeless
"You can't sell what's for sale but you sell off what's not
"What do you mean, what?
"Last year, the rice shop owner came over
"and eyeing the brazier we use in back he said, What a nice brazier"
What's up?
I have something to say
If I don't, I'll regret it the rest of my life
I never thanked you for the lantern plant
It made me happy
Really happy
Why'd you give me a lantern plant?
If you don't want it, give it back
I was really mad
You totally ignored my gift
If I didn't care, I wouldn't get so mad
Your...
"The Flaming Drum"
Was 30 points
What happened to "Scared of Sweet Buns?"
I wonder
Come live with me?
And Granny, too?
Mitsuba / Taichi Kokubun
Satsuki / Karina
Yugawara / Yutaka Matsushige
Murabayashi / Yuuki Morinaga
Granny / Kaoru Yachigusa
Kosanmon / Shiro Ito
Executive Producers: Masao Teshima, Julie K. Fujishima, Seiji Okuda, Kazumasa Tajima
Producers: Atsushi Watanabe, Shinji Ogawa
Based on the story by Takako Sato "Shaberedomo Shaberedomo" published by Shinchosha Co.
Written by Satoko Okudera
Director of Photography: Junichi Fujisawa "JSC"
Lighting Director: Nariyuki Ueda
Production Designer: Shin Nakayama
Sound Recordist: Masato Komatsu
Editor: Chieko Suzaki
Music: Goro Yasukawa
Production: Asmik Ace Entertainment, Inc. BOWSPRIT, Inc.
Producd by Asmik Ace Entertainment, Inc. J Storm Inc. Nippon Television Network Corporation Shinchosha Co.
Directed by Hideyuki Hirayama
English subtitles: Linda Hoaglund
©2007 "TALK, TALK, TALK" Film Partners